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Psychoanalyst Darian Leader calls this the Rebecca Syndrome, a reference to the Daphne du Maurier novel in which the heroine is terribly haunted by the ghost of her husband's late wife. Leader, the power of what has gone before will infuse even the most contented new partnerships. Social scientists have found that men look to reconnect because they want what they had before, what they're used to.
New York Times writer Elizabeth Olson notes just one man's unapologetic reason to want a new wife -- he's overwhelmed by household chores, and he can't find things around the house.
Sometimes it's guilt -- a feeling of being unfaithful to a lost partner.
Sometimes families oppose new ties -- adult children fearing that a new woman will undermine the sanctity of their parents' long marriage.
Don’t be afraid to walk away from a relationship that’s not going anywhere.
Breaking up isn’t fun or easy, but in the long run it beats staying in a relationship that’s not going anywhere.
After months of listening to him endlessly extol someone who is not you, it's tough to sustain the nurturing spirit that's said to be part of a woman's DNA. It can overwhelm a man who takes on a new relationship when he mistakenly believes he is emotionally ready.While that list covers the biggest, most common ones, it doesn’t take into account other warning signs that the widower may not be ready to move on or individual circumstances, wants, and needs that come with each relationship.So, here are three things GOWs can do to see if there are other red flags they should be worried about. Know What You Want in a Relationship Before you can identify other red flags in any relationship, it’s important to know what you’re looking for when it comes to a man.On occasions when he makes no mention of his late wife, you and your widower have a great time together. Men who haven't quite reached the ready-to-date stage nevertheless manage to draw companions into their trajectory while they figure things out.He loves the attention you lavish on him and he tries to reciprocate. Some women spend years orbiting a world of grief that is not their own.
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If you are, you need to stop making excuses for his behavior.